The sign at the zoo’s main entrance told me I couldn’t bring in soccer balls, balloons, roller skates or a water gun.
I guess that means the guy with the chain saw was OK.
Of course, the chain saw-wielding masked murderer, the atheist stuck in the stocks, and the ’tween with a box of brains were all invited guests to last weekend’s “Boo at the Zoo,” a popular annual tradition at the Binghamton Zoo at Ross Park.
The event was my first trip to the city zoo, and the darkness associated with showing up at 8:30 p.m. means it probably shouldn’t be my last, since I couldn’t really see much of anything.
Don’t get me wrong — most animals sleep at night, and so I wasn’t expecting the full monty. The few folks I heard complaining as they left about not seeing any animals obviously missed the point of the event.
I’m also aware that the zoo’s normal business hours are 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., and this once-a-year-event is meant to be shrouded in the dark of night.
But there’s nary a reason to feel unsafe before parking the car and paying admission.
Arriving relatively late (8:30 p.m., still plenty of time to walk the trails), I was permitted to park in one of the zoo’s multi-tiered parking levels, even as a trolley shuttled people back and forth from another parking lot at United Medical Associates on Pennsylvania Ave.
Traversing the parking lots on foot in absolute darkness turned out to be almost as scary as the Haunted Houses that awaited us inside. With my path illuminated only by the dim glow of my cell phone, I prayed for no real nightmares to occur — like a small child escaping a parent’s grip, and running in front of a car.
Again, it should be noted that the zoo is almost never open past dusk, and so the dark parking lot wouldn’t normally be an issue. But with thousands of little kids scurrying around the area, this columnist was genuinely concerned during his three-minute hike back to his vehicle.
But I digress.
Once I got inside — after a 20-minute wait on a huge line — “Boo at the Zoo” itself was a good time, if only to see and hear hundreds of pre-teens scared out of their shoes over and over again.
There were a few nicely constructed haunted houses set up in the midst of the darkness, and I don’t care how old you are, or how immune you claim to be to such things: when a seemingly inanimate object comes to life and screams at you, you’re going to scream back.
To me, those houses were the highlight of the event. Decorated with faux spider webs and dark-colored streamers and doused in fake blood, costumed teens waited behind each corner, making every step through the hand-crafted setups nerve-wracking.
The houses’ props were fitting; I particularly liked a hand-drawn advertisement for “Big Daddy’s Pizza” — the most popular blackout food on State Street.
Tables of doughnuts and apple cider, and numerous displays of hand-painted gourds, were also popular attractions during the two-night event.
(Unfortunately, I discovered midway through the event that there were no ghouls hiding in the zoo’s men’s room — tell me that wouldn’t be a sweet hiding place?)
The dozens of carefully carved pumpkins that lined the walkways will be on display tonight at Pumpkin Fest, a free (donations accepted) thank-you to the zoo’s loyal patrons, according to the zoo’s Web site, rossparkzoo.com. (Pumpkin Fest runs 6:30 to 8 p.m. in the lower zoo — no chain saws allowed.)
Strub is a senior at Binghamton University and a part-time copy editor at the Press & Sun-Bulletin. His column appears Thursdays.
cstrub@pressconnects.com
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